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  • Writer's pictureReston

When you have been married for 10 years or longer, that marriage is considered a long-term marriage. There are many benefits that can be gained by hitting this magically number. Google your state family court laws in order to determine what you are entitled to collect or keep.

Some states such as California grant the lesser earning spouse alimony for as long as you need it.

In Divorce 10 is the Magic Number

If you are a military spouse and have been married to an Active Duty member for 10 years of their tour, you are entitled to a portion of their retirement pay.

At age 62 years old, you are entitled to SSN benefits based on your ex-spouse’s contribution.

o You must be divorced for at least two years. You are entitled to these benefits regardless of whether your ex-spouse claims benefits.

o Benefits are based on your ex-spouse’s total contributions, not just those made during your marriage

o If you were married and divorced twice and both marriages lasted more than ten years, you can claim benefits through the ex-spouse with the larger SSN contributions

Warning: There are some rules that you should be aware of that could cost you some of these benefits. For example, if you remarry before you reach the age of 60 and stay married to your second spouse, you cannot claim benefits based on your first spouse’s account

o So delay remarrying until turning 60.

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  • Writer's pictureReston

What do you do when the world that you built crumbles before your eyes? How do you go through the daily grind, hiding behind the mask so that no one sees the pain that is eating away at you? Of course, there are no simple answers, no books to read, or even a person who will be able to provide you comfort when you are sitting wide awake during the darkest hour of the night? Most everyone will fail you at some point in time, especially when you have hit rock bottom, but there is hope. The next time you feel like you can’t take another step forward you are going to take the next four steps. Write down everything you would like to see happen in your life from now until five years into the future. Remember, no thinking of the past performances or circumstances that have hurt you. Why, because you are making a conscious effort to shift your attitude over to the positive side in your life. Also, studies show that when you move the needle over to the positive side, you have the ability to attract the right people. 2. Write down the goals that it would take to get you there. Don’t concentrate on your “haves” or “have nots” like lack of money or roadblocks. 3. Write out positive statements on several index cards and plant them where you can see them throughout the day. Have them begin with, “I am”, “I have”, “I build” followed with positive words. Here are some examples: “I am beautiful and loved”, I have the talents I need to get the job I need.”, I have a good outlook on life.” Again this can’t be stated only as a one and done. It needs to be repeated as much as you need to hear it. Oh, and it should be spoken out loud. By now you may be thinking these suggestions are silly, but studies have shown that when you speak out loud, that it not only works in your brain, but also on your heart where hope, love, and joy is stored. 4. See the good in everyone and everything.  So take control back, by starting with a positive attitude and watch how your life can change.

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Hi everyone this is Divorce Games talk and I am Lisa. Look it does not matter which side of the table you are on as my goal is to help you in dividing assets, liabilities and child-rearing responsibilities as the stakes are high and the rules are ambiguous. We are not talking about preschool here. I mean we are talking about actual money, little human beings, and physical things. It is personal and it is winner takes all. So let’s get down to business. Look, I am not an attorney nor am I giving legal advice. All I know is that I don’t hold the legal establishment in the highest regards. I am not even talking about divorce. I have had many instances in my career where I have had to work with attorneys, and seriously I am not feeling any warm fuzzies for this profession. So, if you’re an attorney, you already know your profession needs some serious housekeeping. Today, I would like to tell you some secrets that you need to know before you get divorced.

Secret number one: Your and your soon to be ex-spouse’s attorneys love you both to be and continue to be dysfunctional. They love when you fight and love when you can’t agree. This is their secret to collecting as much of your cash as possible.

Secret number two: Attorneys are just consultants. They will charge you an hourly rate, but you can’t see if they are actually working on what they say they are working on or the amount of time they say they have worked on it. They will give you advice on how you should do this or that. They will quote some laws that even Google finds difficult to locate. Oh, and the biggest secret is that laws are up for interpretation by the one who holds the gavel. So, an attorney’s advice is based on their knowledge and experience regarding what that particular judge’s point of views are or are not.

Secret number three: If you disagree with your attorney or they do a bad job you have little recourse to get your money back or even sue them. There is no money back guarantee with this profession. This is why attorneys ask for a large retainer fee up front. This is probably to prevent you from walking away when you realize they are causing more problems and providing fewer solutions. There are countless bad attorney stories. Just go find someone who has gotten divorced and asks them what their experience was like.

Secret number four: There are other avenues to help you get divorced without fighting it out with opposing attorneys.

· o Hire a paralegal to fill out your decree and file the paperwork o Hire an attorney to just partially represent you only on the questions you need answering o Use Online divorce sources that cost a fraction of what you would pay by hiring legal representation o Use a mediator who will sit between your spouse and you to help you craft your settlement ( not to be confused with collaborative law)

Secret number five: Divorce is never split 50/50.

Look here is the truth when a divorce occurs, it is usually due to someone who is extremely selfish and wants it their way. When you add children to the mix, they are used as weapons by spouses and hired attorneys. Divorces without children usually are not complicated unless each party chooses to fight over things that either depreciate or lose sentimental value over time. If you really decide that divorce is the only option then I want you to use Divorce Games to make the right choices without having to run up credit cards, take out loans, or claim bankruptcy all because of a corrupt and selfish legal system. I want you to organize your facts and help you follow sequential steps. This will prevent you from being forced into a financial position where you are bullied into making bad decisions. The truth is that you can structure your decree any way you want. You just have to get the other party to agree. Emotions never win, but facts and numbers do. So, take a look at Divorce Games and see if it can help you make stronger agreements for the divorce settlement you want.

Email me if you have any questions or would like to learn how Divorce Games can help you analyze your marital assets at

Or Follow me here: ctherearviewmirror2 on Instagram

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