Hi everyone this is Divorce Games talk and I am Lisa. Look it does not matter which side of the table you are on as my goal is to help you in dividing assets, liabilities and child-rearing responsibilities as the stakes are high and the rules are ambiguous. We are not talking about preschool here. I mean we are talking about actual money, little human beings, and physical things. It is personal and it is winner takes all. So let’s get down to business. Look, I am not an attorney nor am I giving legal advice. All I know is that I don’t hold the legal establishment in the highest regards. I am not even talking about divorce. I have had many instances in my career where I have had to work with attorneys, and seriously I am not feeling any warm fuzzies for this profession. So, if you’re an attorney, you already know your profession needs some serious housekeeping. Today, I would like to tell you some secrets that you need to know before you get divorced.

Secret number one: Your and your soon to be ex-spouse’s attorneys love you both to be and continue to be dysfunctional. They love when you fight and love when you can’t agree. This is their secret to collecting as much of your cash as possible.

Secret number two: Attorneys are just consultants. They will charge you an hourly rate, but you can’t see if they are actually working on what they say they are working on or the amount of time they say they have worked on it. They will give you advice on how you should do this or that. They will quote some laws that even Google finds difficult to locate. Oh, and the biggest secret is that laws are up for interpretation by the one who holds the gavel. So, an attorney’s advice is based on their knowledge and experience regarding what that particular judge’s point of views are or are not.

Secret number three: If you disagree with your attorney or they do a bad job you have little recourse to get your money back or even sue them. There is no money back guarantee with this profession. This is why attorneys ask for a large retainer fee up front. This is probably to prevent you from walking away when you realize they are causing more problems and providing fewer solutions. There are countless bad attorney stories. Just go find someone who has gotten divorced and asks them what their experience was like.

Secret number four: There are other avenues to help you get divorced without fighting it out with opposing attorneys.

· o Hire a paralegal to fill out your decree and file the paperwork o Hire an attorney to just partially represent you only on the questions you need answering o Use Online divorce sources that cost a fraction of what you would pay by hiring legal representation o Use a mediator who will sit between your spouse and you to help you craft your settlement ( not to be confused with collaborative law)

Secret number five: Divorce is never split 50/50.

Look here is the truth when a divorce occurs, it is usually due to someone who is extremely selfish and wants it their way. When you add children to the mix, they are used as weapons by spouses and hired attorneys. Divorces without children usually are not complicated unless each party chooses to fight over things that either depreciate or lose sentimental value over time. If you really decide that divorce is the only option then I want you to use Divorce Games to make the right choices without having to run up credit cards, take out loans, or claim bankruptcy all because of a corrupt and selfish legal system. I want you to organize your facts and help you follow sequential steps. This will prevent you from being forced into a financial position where you are bullied into making bad decisions. The truth is that you can structure your decree any way you want. You just have to get the other party to agree. Emotions never win, but facts and numbers do. So, take a look at Divorce Games and see if it can help you make stronger agreements for the divorce settlement you want.

Email me if you have any questions or would like to learn how Divorce Games can help you analyze your marital assets at lisa.a.reston@gmail.com.

Or Follow me here: https://www.lisaareston.com/divorce-games https://divorcegames.thinkific.com ctherearviewmirror2 on Instagram

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  • Reston

What Happened to that Magical Kiss?

Remember when that fairy tale kiss was so magical? You just could not wait to declare your love in front of family and friends on your special day. So, special in fact, that it cost you and your princess or prince charming anywhere from $35,000-$45,000 dollars, according to Business Insider. A few weeks later reality sets in and normal life begins to ebb away at your dreams of your perfect castle and prince charming or even princess. You do what everyone else does and try to “keep up with the Jones.” This leads you into more debt which leads to more stress. Then you both decide to have children because all your friends are doing it. I mean, who does not want to be a part of the club. Oh, that baby shower and the gender reveal party look like so much fun. Again, the party is over and slowly things change. If you are the woman or man who is the designated caregiver, you begin to lose yourself. No longer does that carefree or free-spirited girl or guy emerge. Instead, you are trying to keep your head above water, keeping a house clean, taxiing little humans everywhere, and running errands that never stop. The list keeps getting longer and longer and the nights keep getting shorter and shorter. You may even have to work on top of this to help offset all the debt that you have gotten yourself into. Then one day, you look in the mirror and you see this figure staring back at you. You wonder what happened to your life? Why am I so miserable?

Your spouse is thinking the same thing. He gets up, takes a shower, drinks a cup or two of coffee, and heads off to work without the slightest interruption. He may even get a great workout in before going to his office. He gets to attend meetings and be productive because most of the time he is the breadwinner of his family. All day long he is surrounded by others who are well dressed and smell good. He even gets to complete tasks, achieve goals, and have real conversations about adult topics.

He comes home and wonders why the kids are screaming, why his spouse has not fixed her hair or even applied make-up. The house is not picked up and dinner is not waiting for him. He just wants to relax because his brain has been stimulated way too much. So, he goes into your bedroom to change and to escape from reality. When he emerges, the house is still in chaos and now every family member comes at him with, “can you play”, “can you help me with homework”, “can you take out the trash?” He hears his phone beep, looks down and thanks God that it is work and they need him to answer a question right now. He takes a glass of wine that his wife poured out for him and gives her a peck on the check as a conciliatory prize, like ‘”keep up the good work, but my job is more important because I am the bread winner and well…you just run the house and raise the kids.” He gracefully exits, and his spouse is reminded again that there will be no break, yet again.

This scene plays day in and day out for several years. Now when his wife looks over at him, there is this hate and underlying current of anger. Sex becomes less frequent and he jokes at the office that it is just like they said it would be. He got married, had children and now sex goes out the door. He begins to look around at all the women who are keeping themselves up and wonder why his wife does not do the same. He begins to confide in a coworker over lunch or happy hour. He may also begin to dabble in watching porn to take off the edge. He becomes desensitized and ignores those who are a part of his family unit.

Finally, he comes home one day and find his wife, angry as usual, and she says she wants a divorce. She says she is tired of him treating her like a slave, nanny, personal shopper, house keeper, and sex slave. These statements make him angry because he has been working day and night to give her and the children all the nice things they ask for. Then he remembers that it does not really matter because this fairy tale was more of a nightmare. The woman he is having an affair with will be a better mother and wife than the one he married who is now just bitter and haggard looking. His answer….fine let’s divorce.


divorcegames@lisaareston.com

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Did you know that not all life insurance policies are the same? When you have children you should get insured to cover any expenses that may arise until that child reaches the age of a college graduate. Knowing what type of insurance policy you and your spouse has is equally important during a divorce.

Please read below to learn more about each of these policies.


The Value of Insurance Policies


Different Types of Life Insurance


There are basically two types of life insurance policies, Term Life and Permanent Life.

Term Life insurance is insurance for a set time period. After the set ‘period of time,’ the insurance disappears, and you have nothing. These can sometimes be renewed, but the insurance premiums will also increase with the insured person's age as well as any health-related issues that may crop up. Basically, you are paying a monthly fee, but you will not be able to recollect any cash that you put into this type of insurance. The Term Life policies have no cash value, but they will give you peace of mind knowing the person is covered if they die before the insurance expires. Please check and see who the beneficiary is. The beneficiary receives the insurance payout if the insured becomes deceased. If you are not listed, you do not receive the payout.


Permanent Life insurance has names like whole life, universal life, indexed universal life, or even variable universal life. These policies accrue a cash value, which can be taken out even if the covered person does not die. This is something to look at when negotiating or splitting assets. If you need or want to learn more, search the internet for: “What are the different types of life insurance policies.”

Search for life insurance policies. If you find that your spouse has taken out any insurance policies on you, your children or even themselves, fill the Value of Insurance Policy out to determine if this would be another negotiating tool that could be used.


Use the Value of Insurance Policy spreadsheet to determine what policies you have, for how much, who they insure, and when they will expire at. Email me if you have any questions or would like to learn how Divorce Games can help you analyze your marital assets at lisa.a.reston@gmail.com. Or Follow me here:



divorcegames@lisaareston.com

ctherearviewmirror2 on Instagram

#divorce #love #marriage #relationships #divorcesupport #divorced #singlemom #familylaw #breakup #divorcedmom #healing #sad #domesticviolence #coparenting #single #relationship #separation #divorcelawyer #dating #parenting #spiritual #heartbroken #soulmate #inspiration #relationshipgoals #motivation #depression #divorcecommunity #mentalhealth #datingafter #life #family #motivation #lifeafterdivorce